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Jesus Vs. Satan

March 17th 2010 02:41
Jesus vs. Satan

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on
his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of
hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, “Cool it. I am going to
set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better
job.”

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused.
They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent
e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did
some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job.


But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed
across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the
electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every
curse word known in the Underworld. Jesus just sighed.

The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted
their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming “It’s
gone! It’s gone! I lost everything when the power went out!”

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the
past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. “Wait! He cheated!
How did he do it?”

God shrugged and said, “Jesus Saves.”
22
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Jesus Vs. Satan

March 17th 2010 02:40
Jesus vs. Satan

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on
his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of
hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, “Cool it. I am going to
set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better
job.”

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused.
They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent
e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did
some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job.


But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed
across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the
electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every
curse word known in the Underworld. Jesus just sighed.

The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted
their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming “It’s
gone! It’s gone! I lost everything when the power went out!”

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the
past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. “Wait! He cheated!
How did he do it?”

God shrugged and said, “Jesus Saves.”
22
Vote
   


knock knock

January 6th 2010 11:56
who is there ?
35
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knock knock

January 6th 2010 11:54
who is there ?
24
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Little Johnny ...

November 11th 2009 00:40
The Principal of an elementry school went into a classroom and said, "I will give you all a lifesaver, but you have to guess the flavor because I'm not telling you. Whoever wins will get a prize." So he gave them all honey flavored lifesavers.

Nobody could get it, so he gave them a hint. "It might be what your mom calls your dad sometimes


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You Know yure a Yankee if...

November 11th 2009 00:36
You Know You’re A Yankee If….

1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning “to cook outside


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41
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10 Commandments of a Teenager

November 11th 2009 00:28
10 Commandements of a Teenager!!!

1) thou shall not sneek out when parents are sleeping. (why wait until they are asleep


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41
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a

October 8th 2009 22:30
a
42
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SMART ASS ANSWERS

August 8th 2009 03:03
SMART ASS ANSWER #6 -- It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5 -- A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub


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54
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Look what they've done to my BMW

August 8th 2009 02:59


A yuppie opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined. "You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!", retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!" "Oh my gaaawd...," replied the yuppie, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex


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